Coming up on the Leadership Growth Podcast. Good coaches are able to identify specific actions with the leader, or rather the leader identifies those actions, and the coach is able to hold them to account for the very things that the leader wants to develop and improve upon. So there is this mechanism of follow-up that's built-in, an accountability process. The other amazing, fantastic thing around the one-on-one executive coaching process is how tailored it can get. It is so specific to the exact needs of the leader, whether it's strategy development or culture or overcoming blind spots, changing and shifting mindset, adapting different behaviors, looking at becoming a stronger leader, communicating more effectively, managing change, onboarding. There are so many different aspects that can be covered. It is really zoned in on the specific needs of that person. Hey everyone, and welcome to another episode of the Leadership Growth Podcast, where we talk about tools and tips to help you develop yourself as a leader. I'm Daniel Stewart and I'm joined with my brother Peter Stewart as we dive into another fantastic episode today. Okay, Peter. So as we often do, we have a couple of segments that we start off with. First is an Insight of the Week. We were chatting before the show. What what did you share about Costco, Peter? What was a great insight? Well, besides it being one of my favorite stores. Well, naturally. I love Costco, admire the company. Man they've been successful, hearing their story. But I looked into their code of ethics, little bit kind of their, their guiding principles and I and I was looking on their website researching things and they identify four. So here here are the the code of ethics, the four points for Costco. First is obey the law. Makes sense. You don't want to do things unethical or illegal. It usually doesn't bode well for a successful business. So first is obey the law. Second is take care of our members. So for and as for those of you that may not have been to a Costco, it's a, you have to purchase a membership because it's a wholesale kind of warehouse model to go in. So it's basically take care of our customers. They call them members. Then take care of our employees. Take care of those who work there, want to be sure they want to continue working there. And then the fourth is respect our suppliers. So those are the four guiding principles. Obey the law, take care of our members, take care of our employees, and respect our customers. And really what I was fascinated by was what was not included in these four. There's no mention of shareholders, stakeholders, you know, in that regard, and a lot of publicly traded companies, that is a big push. But as, you know, Jim Sinegal, the former CEO when asked about these, he said,“Well, if we do these four, our shareholders are going to benefit significantly.” So I thought it was an interesting way to look at it and kind of, okay, what are the code of ethics that our respective organizations or personally that we operate off? Yeah, it's a great point. Putting people first in many ways. You know, yes, the legal aspect and then customers, employees, suppliers. And it's really relationship focused. And when you treat others well, it then helps in all aspects. It really does. People matter. And to that on that last point, the for the suppliers, the average Costco has about 3000 SKUs. So SKU’s the number of items that are, you know, listed or purchased. Just for comparison's sake, the average grocery store has about 30,000. And the average Walmart has about 100,000. So if you look at the relationships with the suppliers, there are very few in terms of SKU to suppliers. So you really have to build those relationships in depth. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great insight. Interesting to keep in mind. And I know sometimes there's discussion around which do you put first customers or employees? And, you know, Costco has a point of view here. You put the customers, but frankly, it's right next to the employees. So, yes, both of these and, of course, the suppliers. It’s that whole network of relationships that are so key. Peter, great insight. Yeah. Yeah. I'm always like learning about different businesses and their background. So now let's let's shift over a little bit on Memory Lane as it's fun, it's it's been a few episodes since it's just been the two of us chatting. We've had some wonderful guests and so we figured, hey, let's let's have another one that's just the two of us as we're chatting through a topic, but let's have a Memory Lane first as as we're thinking through. Do you want to tee this off, Daniel? So one word. Risk. Okay, folks, this has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand today, but Risk. Who here has ever played the game of Risk because it was a popular one in the Stewart household growing up. Peter, what, 50 times? I mean, how many times did we play this thing? How many hours of the night? I mean, we'd be up midnight, 1 a.m. For those that haven't played the game of Risk, in essence, it's a game of world domination in which the board game, the board is a map of the world, and you start off, assign certain countries and you build up armies and you take over. So we were raised in an environment of of world domination. That that's a fact. Okay, so some uh successful strategies that we learned, Peter, that there were two strategies that seemingly worked and I'll let you mention the two that worked. I'll mention the one that didn't seem to work. And it was if you went after Europe or Asia that usually did not mean you were going to win the war, you know, win the game and conquer the world. Too many countries to maintain right in the smack dab in the middle of everything, you had to fortify too much, didn't win. Peter, what were the, the two strategies that did work? Typically, there was the battle of... for North America. Usually building that out and then getting into South America over into Africa and then from there the world. But the one that dad would always just destroy us on early on was the Australia strategy. He'd sit there in that that sector of the map and he would just patiently build up his armies over time because nobody was coming to Australia to take over and then he'd turn in cards and just kill us all. So then we started emulating that strategy over. But it was just a lot of fun memories in terms of playing the game together, laughing, uh the luck of the dice and dad's patient, slow and steady accumulation of armies in Australia. Maybe there's a lesson there. Sometimes the slow, patient development as opposed to, I'm just going to burn everything and go for broke. Yeah. So some insights for everybody back in the Stewart household, a lot of Risk game playing, had a lot of fun. I have no idea how to make a transition from playing Risk to the subject at hand. And that's the transition. So there you go. Here's the subject, folks. Well done. Thank you. Thank you. Here is the subject. It is executive coaching. How to make the most of your executive coaching experience. And frankly, we may spend more than one episode on this because it is one of the most powerful ways that leaders can develop themselves today. And gratefully over the past several decades, coaching, especially executive leadership coaching, has slowly started to see a shift in perspective. Oftentimes it started off as you got a coach because you had a problem. Some sort of issue, and it wasn't always looked upon in a favorable thing. It was, I got a problem. That can still happen from time to time, but more and more leaders are seeing executive leadership coaching, executive coaching as actually a sign of investment and development. And it's a positive thing. And we do so much executive coaching. We, Peter, what, you figure several hundreds of— Oh, hundreds and hundreds. Yeah, just between you and I over the past many years. And so we wanted to share some insights around how to optimize an executive coaching experience, what is involved in it from the leader perspective, from the coach perspective, from the organization perspective. And so, Peter, here's here's the first question that we can talk through. Why executive coaching? What's the advantage? What's the need? What's the push? Why, why engage with a one-on-one executive coach? It's it's a great question to look at. And part of it kind of pulls back to as you introduce this topic of coaching, helping really to differentiate between the two fundamental mindsets within coaching. Is this a performance issue, performance space coaching in which a change needs to occur or someone might not necessarily be there much longer? Or is it more of a development focused? And that, and that ladder is really where we're focusing as that's where many of the organizations are focusing. So that's why that's really the answer for why coaching. It is a way to invest in your people so that they grow. And so it's that that formal opportunity. And here's where I think the big benefit comes from. Coaching is it is a forcing function to pause, to pause, to pull up out of the day to day, because very few people are sitting around bored in their jobs. There's there's a lot of moving pieces, a lot of moving parts, but you have a coach and that is a forcing function to pause, pull up, think about not only what you're doing, but how you're doing it, why you're doing it, and is that the the optimal way to do it? How do you identify and learn and grow from your strengths, from your weaknesses, and so forth. So I mean, that's long long-winded answer of why coaching, it helps develop people. And it builds in, as you were saying, a sense of accountability as well. Good coaches are able to identify specific actions with the leader, or rather the leader identifies those actions and the coach is able to hold them to account for the very things that the leader wants to develop and improve upon. So there is this mechanism of follow up that's built in an accountability process. The other amazing fantastic thing around the one-on-one executive coaching process is how tailored it can get. It is so specific to the exact needs of the leader, whether it's strategy development or culture or overcoming blind spots, changing and shifting mindset, adapting different behaviors, looking at becoming a stronger leader, communicating more effectively, managing change, onboarding. There are so many different aspects that can be covered. It is really zoned in on the specific needs of that person. And I'll also add, it's not done in a vacuum. I get really upset when I hear coaching situations that are done without any input from their boss or manager or from other sources of the organization, and it's just kind of done by itself. That can add some value, but the point is to make sure that coaching is not done in a vacuum, but to understand the context, what are the demands of your specific role? How how to help you reach those performance goals, and expectations for you to be a successful leader in your current role as well as prepare for a future role, particularly if that's one of the main goals of the coaching process. So it's incredibly flexible. It is not necessly done in a vacuum. It can— It shouldn't be done in a vacuum. It shouldn't be. Absolutely, absolutely. And it's one of the most effective ways of being able to really truly develop at a one-on-one level because it's so personalized and again, for that accountability follow-up mechanism that's inherently built-in. And what you're you're highlighting this process of coaching, there's really two, I think, really powerful components of successful coaching. The first you're alluding to in terms of a focus it's identifying that focus because it's tailored well, yeah, you could take this shotgun approach and try and focus on everything under the sun, but as we know, that's not a that's not a helpful method for growth. It frustrates people and it confuses it and waters it down. So you tailor and hone in on, creating an action plan, a development, a focus area for the coaching sessions to target, so that then there are goals set. There are benchmarks established. There are steps so that you can make progress toward those goals. So there's there's that focus. And then the second part of it, it is a safe place to really have some introspection, to share your thoughts, to be able to complain and vent without fear of retribution, and to then have that increased awareness to facilitate the growth. Yeah. And this this confidentiality part is key because within that coaching relationship, what is said within those coaching sessions stays within those coaching sessions. There's really only two exceptions. One is the action plan that is decided not just during but outside of, as well and that is what is communicated with one's manager to state this is what I'm working on, please provide feedback and updates. So that action plan is going to be a key part, the themes that come from it. And the other part is if something happens that is inappropriate. If you learn of something that is unethical, against the law, that's where confidentiality is no longer in place. And that's where it's a matter of, are you going to be telling HR or shall I? What do we need to take? That... because that— there's no place for that. No. Otherwise, all of the details that are shared that somebody is trying to actively work through as they're trying to build and strengthen relationships with others, as they're trying to be more more vulnerable and introspective and open to changing themselves as they're on this leadership journey. That is fair play to have a safe environment where people can build and construct and deconstruct and reshape in a way that's helpful for them as they then show up as their best self every day. Yeah, that safe place is so critical. And as you highlighted the exceptions to where that confidentiality is is of broken. I think the third place in which I think, not necessarily the confidentiality is broken, but it's really more in terms of logistics. Many times an organization is investing in the coaching process and updates on, hey, is this person participating? Are they attending sessions? Are they coming and and putting their their best foot forward? If they're blowing off the coach and not involved or whatever, I feel it's a responsibility to to share with that organization. You know, maybe coaching for this individual it's not the right time. Or maybe there's not the match with the coach, which we can get in next of what role and kind of rights does that coachee have in terms of selecting a coach and how how do you pick a coach that might work well with you? What are some suggestions you'd give Daniel? Yeah, that that's one of the most important parts is to find a coach that resonates, that you feel safe with, that you feel can be helpful and insightful, that can understand your needs as well as the organizational context, and oftentimes we will then, as a general practice identify two or three coaches to then have a selection call with for the potential leader who wants to be coached. And those selection calls are critical so that the leader can interview, essentially, and have almost like an initial mini coaching session during that selection call to then test out to try out. Yes, the leader can look at the bio and backgrounds of the different coaches. And sometimes it's helpful that the coach has an industry background and or a functional background, in some way. Maybe a a similar gender or sex, similar life experiences, all of these things are very helpful and valid variables to consider. It is important at the end of all of this that the leader chooses the coach that he or she is most comfortable with because they want to move, meaning we want to move and make progress each in every session, and that's going to be key around selecting the right coach as well. And it's highlighting is we've used this word comfortable and in a safe place. We want people to feel that way in the coaching process, but not in a way of complacency. A coach needs to be able to help stretch that individual and they're going to challenge through questions in that process of to help foster and facilitate that growth. Hence, why there's accountability to— Yeah. As you're, as you're looking for that coach in the in the perfect world, it's someone you feel safe and comfortable with that you can candidly and freely share the thoughts that are on your mind that they will have the knowledge to suggest exercises, activities, tools that you might be able to leverage in your development area, and they're going to hold you accountable to it. They're going to ask you about it at the next session. Okay, what what what progress are you going to make between now and then? What are a couple questions you want me to ask you next time? How do we know if you're making progress toward this? What are those indicators? All of that. Those are all signs of coaches who aren't just putting in an hour with you here, but they care about the overall progress. They're invested in your growth. You want to know that coach is invested in you. Yeah. And and so here's a caution. What we find sometimes is leaders will sometimes choose a coach that is remarkably like them. I mean and we do this in hiring, like generally speaking. If you're actively wanting to hire a new employee, who do we hire? It's often somebody who is very similar to us. That is a default approach as we that we as humans often do. and it's important to challenge our own biases and preferences at times, because bringing on a coach that's just like you may not be the most helpful for you. You want to look for a coach that's going to be able to challenge you. Yes, challenge you in a way that you can still do something with it. Absolutely. But challenging you, and it may not necessarily be from somebody in the same industry or the same role, it's you want a coach who is an expert in the coaching process, which is a fascinating way of viewing it because a really good coach, they do not need to be an expert in you. They do not need to be an expert in your firm, in your position. They need to have some life experience, but they need to be expert in the coaching process. And the coaching process really is so much around the probing and the challenging and the self-discovery and the partnering. And so with that in mind, a couple of things to emphasize that you as a leader want to have to make sure that you are ready for coaching, and it's so much of it is around how vulnerable and open to learning and change are you? And that's where it comes down to what is your intent with the coaching? Are you doing coaching because you're being forced to? You know you just need to go through it. You may not fully get as much out of it unless you adapt and shift to that willingness to be open and to take full advantage of it. This is one of the most important parts of the coaching process. We've been talking about finding the right coach, so they can challenge you so they can probe deeper and connect ideas, yes. And at the same time for a leader, the expectations for a leader to show up, be vulnerable, to be open, to be humble, to be willing to learn, and willing to put in the work and to try something new, even if it feels uncomfortable or puts you in a new situation, that is exactly opportunities for growth. Yeah it's recognizing that much of the growth that happens during the coaching process is not really what happens during the coaching sessions. It's what happens between the sessions as the individual is willing to put in the work, to put into practice to try out the the tips or insights or goals that they've tasked themself with. Yeah. Otherwise it's just talk, you know, and sure, talk can help you feel good for an hour, but is it really going to change you one month, two months, six months, a year or two from now? And that's what you want to see. You want to see that change. So to to kind of go back to some of the things you were talking about, Daniel, is that does a coach really need to be an expert in your field? And you made the very important point that they don't. And in some ways it can be a hindrance to the coaching process for a coach it can be very hard if you have been in their shoes because then you start to pivot from the coaching to more the mentoring role. And I think we can make that distinction a little bit here because that's an important expectation up front. To understand the role of a coach is not the individual to tell you what to do or how to do what to do. That really is more of that mentor. You know, a person who's been in your shoes they've got, you know, let me tell you, when I when I ran a company of this size or when I was running a team here, this is what I did. You know, that really is more of a mentor comment. Those are not bad. Mentors are great to have around us, but that's fundamentally not the role of a coach. The coach is to help foster and facilitate much more of that self discovery and to guide you through the process for you to come to your own realizations. Yeah, it's it's a good way to frame it and I often look at every coaching experience, every coaching session, every coaching engagement, you are perpetually balancing how much coaching and how much mentoring you do. Yeah. And a more pure kind of coaching session is probably 90% coach coaching, really with the self-discovery, with the probing, with the neutral perspectives, and maybe just a little bit of mentoring, or hardly at all. Now, the question is, what does the leader want? What does the leader need? Yes. And sometimes the leader is after a mentor. And a mentor is going to shift to that usually, and just as you pointed out, Peter, you would want somebody who has had experience doing very similar things, been in that role, been in an executive position, had those kinds of pressures before. Absolutely. And a mentor may or may not be trained to be a good coach. They might be ready and willing and able to share lots of advice and lots of consultative guidance. Again, all good it just matters the situation and the need. And again, I go back to really effective coaches know how to balance both of those, so that they can then show up for their client, whether it's an internal client or an external client, and we can talk later on about an external coach or an internal coach, but regardless to be able to show up for their client in the best way and really to clarify the expectations up front. If it's truly an executive coaching situation, the majority of the time is going to be more around the coaching context, great insightful questions, self reflection, and not as much on the consulting or the advising or the mentoring. And we want to be clear around what that means, or rather the client wants to be clear because they can so they can get what what they're after. If they're after a mentor to just tell them what to do all the time, there's nothing wrong with that. That is more of a mentoring advisory relationship as opposed to a coaching relationship. Yeah. Now, what this doesn't mean is that the coach can't provide information, can't uh suggest or direct them or say, hey, you know, we've we've developed an action plan on listening. You know. I could ask 1800 questions on how this individual can be a better listener, but if they've never been exposed to some of the skills of how to be a better listener, the questions aren't going to help, so going back to your point of that balance might say all right, here are two or three suggestions or tips that we can try and practice during this week or out of these three which do you think fits best with your style with your personality? And so you it's it's a a guidance there. And in some ways a coach is like a curator at a museum, exposed to a lot of different materials, different things that you can then provide as the situation arises. Yeah. Yeah. And and building on that, it is entirely appropriate for a leader to ask their coach, what resources do you have or that you know of that can help me in a specific leadership challenge of some sort? Absolutely. And then the coach can offer as some resources. And then what's the coach is so good at doing will be then to follow up and say, all right, now you've been provided these resources. What have you learned? What have you taken from them? What might you want to try out? What would happen if you implemented X, Y and Z? What would be the possible outcome or challenges? What would prevent you? What has prevented you in the past, perhaps? Yeah. All of these are these are the great coaching types of questions that help the person take whatever article or new concept or idea, or things that they have maybe been challenged on in the past and help it come to life in a different context in a different way. And the leader can always provide feedback and say, hey, I'd like a little bit more of this or that from their coach because they want to be able to leverage the resources available and the insight from the coach, especially around that coaching process to challenge themselves as they seek to become better. It's so true that that development process is really what the coach is hoping to do. And so we've we've tried to lay out some expectations of groundwork of what to expect if you work with a coach, what a coach is, what a coach might not be, who might be included in that coaching process as you're setting things up. I think it's also helpful to think about what is a coaching session look like, especially after the first couple. You know, like in many relationships, those first few sessions are really getting to know each other. That coach is going to be asking a lot of questions about you, about the situation, the circumstances, your organization, your team, your direct reports, your boss, all those sorts of things, some of your background to then identify, well, okay, yeah, what what have you learned? What are areas that you have some strengths and inner weaknesses and so forth so there's some set up uh for the future for that development plan to come to fruition. And then really it's the support on that plan. So as those uh sessions after the plan's made, oftentimes it'll come say, okay, well, what progress have you made since the last session? What have you tried? What's working? What's not? Are there particular challenges that are coming up that you like to process through to problem solve together? You know, what are you anticipating coming up next? You know, where are you moving forward, what progress, what additional— so it's that that guidance in which there's very much an openness to the sessions with some structure to help end out, you know, have an end point where we're making progress, but then there's that balance between the action plan and then the crises du jour, because inevitably there's gonna, you bring in with you to that session what had just happened. Yeah. And maybe you've been having some arguments with somebody or there was a supplier that didn't follow through on a promise. Or maybe there was this other issue, can this be a time during the coaching session to problem solve, to talk through, to identify alternative solutions, situations before we just have our impulsive response. So those are some of the most helpful sessions, I think at times are digging into some very specific things. Going back to that point you made in the beginning, Daniel, coaching is tailored to the needs of the leader, that individual. And and on that note, let's do a quick Lightning Round. And and I think next time we uh the next episode, we can dive further into the coaching process and maybe give examples around what a typical coaching session looks like and what the overall coaching engagement might be, how to leverage a coach, what do you do in between the sessions? Because there is so much there to truly optimize your ability to develop also. So, Peter, Lightning Round question for you. Okay. What is the one thing that you should not do if you want to optimize your coaching experience? If you're if you're a leader, what's one thing you should not do during a coaching experience? The number one thing to not do is to be too guarded and want to impress your coach. If you're worried about really what your coach's impression is of you, that is one of the farthest things from your own progress and from what needs to happen. Let those ex- you know, kind of let the ego go. Just really allow yourself to be human, to be vulnerable, to acknowledge your strength and your weaknesses, and be willing to put forth that effort for growth. So number one thing don't do don't really worry about what the coach thinks about you. That's good that's good. Peter, well, thank you. It's been another fantastic Leadership Growth Podcast and all you all of our listeners, thank you for joining us. And please like and subscribe and join us for future episodes as we continue to talk about tools and ideas to help you become a stronger leader. Take care, everyone. Bye. If you like this episode, please share it with a friend or colleague, or better yet leave a review to help other listeners find our show. And remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode. 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